Recently, we (when I say we, I mean my wife and I) just celebrated 13 years of being happily married. We focus on the “happily” part. We work hard at our marriage to keep it interesting, keep it fun, and keep true to us. We take care of each other and we genuinely do what we can to keep ourselves happy. We talk and listen to each other. We comprise. We sometimes sacrifice and sometimes we give too much. We do the things that are necessary for happiness and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Marriage is fun for us, but it’s also hard work. It takes alot of work because life is hard; if you have kids, parenting is hard; if you have a job, work is hard. Keeping yourself from going crazy is hard. So when you mix all those together and throw in another person, things can get chaotic. You have to accept their quirks and remember they will grow and get new quirks. And they have to accept your imperfections as well.
So why do I have F’s in our marriage? I’ll tell you why.
1) Family. We have our family that we enjoy being around that truly cares for us. Those people are important and we keep them close. Those are the people we know we can count on and come thru if we need them. (side note: just because we’re blood, don’t make you family).
2) Friends. Our social circle has been there to give us an escape from the daily nuance of being an adult. Someone we can talk to about our kids’ sports journey, the next foodie trip or golf trip. We appreciate these people dearly.
3) Fun. The Mrs. and I continue to date each other. We go on dates to comedy shows, concerts and weekend trips. We make inside jokes so we can laugh with each other. We share Tik Tok videos and laugh until tears run down our face. We continue to laugh with each other and make sure we don’t laugh at each other. There’s a difference.
4) Flirt. I flirt with my wife all the time. I’m pretty sure I get on her nerves with how much I do, but when you’re attracted to someone, you gotta show it.
5) Faith. We have faith. In God. In each other. In ourselves.
This works for us, it may or may not work for you. Of course there is more to it than this, but you have to figure out what works for you, your SO, and your relationship.
So here is to 13 years and hopefully the F’s in our marriage carry us to another 1300 years of being happily marriage.